Why Helping Your Team Too Much Might Actually Be Holding Them Back
I have a question for my fellow leaders.
How many times a day does someone come to you with a question you know they could probably answer themselves?
And what do you do?
You answer it.
Because it's faster.
Because you're busy.
Because you already know the answer.
And because, quite frankly, sometimes it's easier to just handle it yourself.
I've been guilty of this more times than I care to admit.
But here's what I've learned.
Every time we automatically give someone the answer, we may be taking away an opportunity for them to learn how to find it.
Helping Isn’t Always Teaching
There's a big difference between helping someone complete a task and teaching someone how to complete it independently.
When we constantly provide the answers, we unintentionally train our teams to depend on us.
They have a question.
They come to us.
We solve it.
Everyone moves on.
Until the next question.
And the next.
And the next.
Before long, we've become the answer to everything.
Then we wonder why we can't find time to do our own work.
Sound familiar?
Change the Question
One of the simplest changes leaders can make is to stop immediately providing the answer.
Instead, try asking:
"Show me where you got stuck."
"What have you already tried?"
"Where would you look for that information?"
"What do you think the next step should be?"
Now we're having a different conversation.
We're helping someone develop the ability to think through the situation.
And that's a skill they'll carry into the next challenge.
Teaching Takes Time
I know what you're thinking.
"But Suzy, I don't have time to teach them every little thing!"
I get it.
Sometimes explaining something takes longer than just doing it yourself.
But here's the question.
Would you rather spend ten minutes teaching someone today...
Or two minutes answering the same question every week for the next year?
That's where we have to think differently.
Teaching is an investment. Constantly rescuing is an expense.
And that expense adds up.
Confidence Comes From Doing
One of my favorite things about coaching is watching someone have that lightbulb moment.
You can almost see the confidence develop.
They figured it out.
They understand the why.
And now they know they can do it again.
That's powerful.
But people don't build confidence by watching someone else do everything.
They build confidence through learning, practicing, making decisions, and succeeding.
Our job is to create opportunities for that to happen.
Don’t Confuse Delegation with Development
There's another important distinction.
Delegating something doesn't automatically mean you've developed someone.
If I hand a team member a responsibility without the knowledge, tools, authority, or support to succeed, I haven't empowered them.
I've just given them more work.
Development requires intentional teaching.
Explain why the responsibility matters.
Demonstrate the process.
Let them practice.
Have them teach it back.
Then give them room to own it, with appropriate checkpoints along the way.
That's how we move from dependence to independence.
Leaders, We Have to Let Go
Sometimes the biggest obstacle to developing our people is us.
We like being needed.
We like knowing the answers.
And sometimes we struggle to let someone do something differently than we would.
But leadership isn't about being the smartest person in the room.
It's about helping the people around us become more capable.
So the next time someone asks you a question, resist the urge to immediately answer it.
Ask a question back.
Help them think.
Help them learn.
Help them grow.
Because the goal of great leadership isn't to make everyone dependent on you.
It's to develop people who are confident and capable without you standing beside them.
And when that happens, everybody wins.